I recently interviewed with Babbie Mason on her show called Babbie’s House in Atlanta. I spoke to Babbie about encouraging moms and the labels we create for ourselves. I had a wonderful time being the featured guest on Babbie’s show and discussing the hardships mother’s are facing right now. I also spoke about Georgia’s Dream Nannies on the show. I have attached a very personal blog post straight from my heart below for you to read. I hope that you will read it with a smile and be encouraged to know that you are not alone.
It’s easy for moms to identify themselves with ‘worldly’ labels rather than finding our identity in Christ. I think we get so wrapped up in how others see us that we become our labels that we have placed on ourselves.
I know from personal experience that it’s easy for a mom to get wrapped up in comparison, perfectionism and competition with one another. Moms can become mean and catty towards one another when one mom doesn’t fit the ‘worldly’ label of the other moms within the group.
For example, the ‘all about sports’ mom group may not like the coupon mom because she doesn’t have her child in sports and she doesn’t dress in the latest fashion. The group of once friendly moms, then becomes full of gossip, bad attitudes, unfriendliness, even hurtful and viciousness can come into the picture.
The problem with ‘mommy labels’ becomes an even bigger issue when our label that we have put on ourselves falls apart, changes or we grow out of it. We find ourselves sinking in desperation and self-pity. We, as women want to put on a “I have it all together” face, but inside we are crying for help and we desperately want to relate to one another.
For example, take a husband who finds his identity in his career. Well, what happens when his career/job is eliminated or changes and he doesn’t fit the career/job anymore. The husband can fall into an identity crisis, but if he knows that he’s a child of God, then the storms can come, but it will not break the man. The same is true for moms.
- Workout mom
- Stay at home mom
- Church mom
- Working / Career mom
- Know it all mom
- Smart mom
- Overly educated mom
- Organic only mom
- Healthy eating mom
- I make everything from scratch mom
- Fast food mom
- Coupon mom
- I don’t care about anybody mom
- Home-school mom
- Private School mom
- Always in the latest fashion mom
- Perfect and well-mannered kids mom
- Sports mom
- Room mom
- Creative mom
- Pinterest mom
- Blogging mom
Mommy’s are looking for ways to connect with each other, so they talk to each other about what interests them, but before you know it Satan has jumps into the conversation. The once simple and easy-going conversation begins to shift. The mom who is listening to the other mom speak about her life and interests starts to fill inferior, self-doubt, pity, failure, comparison, stress and so on fill her mind. Now, I do understand that this is not the case every time; However, it’s more common than we would like to admit to each other.
What started out as simple and easy conversation about likes and dislikes turns itself into a vicious comparison cycle which turns into gossip after one of the moms leaves the conversation. This is especially true on social media. Moms are bombarded with images and messages of everyone’s so-called happy and perfect life through social media (Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, Instagram and so on) on a daily basis.
The problem runs much deeper because I’ve spoken to my friends and they all acknowledge that they know social media portrays a life that is not always accurate or up-to-date, but somehow when we are sitting alone at home we believe the lies that everyone else has a perfect and less stressful life. I personally believe that many times, we post images or posts on social media to fit into a “Mommy Label” because we want to feel accepted by other moms.
Flip Side & Getting Personal
I have so many hurtful personal stories of living through mommy labeling where I have been the target, but I have also been on the flip side where I have not been so nice. For example, God would put something on my heart or show me in His word something that He wanted me to work on and change in my own life, then I would take what He had spoken to me and judge other mommy’s if they didn’t have the same conviction or even worse gossip about them. I was more concerned about what mommy’s shouldn’t be doing. For me personally, I was not showing LOVE or praying for my mommy friends. I was judging others and how they were handling money, lifestyle choices, whose more religious, fashion and even who is serving more in church.
I think the CORE issue of why we give each other “Mommy Labels” is very simple and not complex at all. I think the real issue boils down to our heart and how we relate and love one another. We can choose to change our attitude and ultimately our heart because what lies within our heart will eventually spill out of our mouth.