Giving up the Guilt: The Supermom Complex
When you rewind time and look at our history you can clearly see that mothers used to handle their household duties differently. The quintessential story-like image of Mrs. June Cleaver in a dress, heels, and an apron cooking a from-scratch meal is the one we may conjure when thinking of the role of homemaker. However, times have changed and women have taken on more and more roles, often as career women who, on occasion, bring home more money than their spouses. Due to the changing roles, we have to be realistic about what we can and cannot do alone. Mrs. Cleaver did not run a successful internet business from her home, she did not work outside the home and she did not bring in an income, most women today do some form of work from outside the home and therefore need supplemental help often in the form of a nanny or mother’s helper.
What I am about to say may shock you, but you can still be a supermom without doing it all. By definition, a supermom would be someone who gets it all done, but no one ever said she did it alone; she just makes sure it gets done. You are the CEO of your home, no CEO runs an entire company solo. There is no guilt in parting out tasks to others so that all the jobs get done by the end of the day. What that looks like in the home is that if you cannot simultaneously entertain your toddler, clean the house, cook meals, and work on that big account, you do the next best thing and hire some of the jobs done. This means at the end of the day, everything that needed to be accomplished was completed, your toddler had a playmate, dinner is made, the house is clean and your role as a working mom has not compromised any of it.
Why do we allow the guilt to creep in then? You may even be a stay at home mom who just requires an extra set of hands now and then; there should be no guilt in that. I guarantee most moms, if honest, would tell you that having another set of hands around the home to implement tasks would be a huge blessing to them. The guilt is something we should banish, especially when hiring a mother’s helper or nanny from a reputable company with impeccable screening procedures. The guilt comes with the antiquated thought that we are not doing enough as homemakers. The homemakers of today are a bit different as they are not only keepers of their homes and mothers, but they are helping to advance careers, technology, and manage it all.
Let it all boil down to this…A supermom is one who gets it all done and makes it look incredibly easy. No one said she did it alone and behind every great woman is help whether in the form of a housekeeper, a nanny, or a mother’s helper. The best part is, no one is judging how you got it all done, take the credit, enjoy the clean home and happy children and do it guilt free.